Wedding Homily

The story is told of an elderly couple. They’ve been married 50 years and they’re very much in love. They’re watching television one evening and the husband (we’ll call him John) gets up and says “I’m going to have some ice cream. Would you like some?” And his wife (we’ll call her Jane) says, “Why, yes. I’d love some ice cream. Thank you for asking.” John says, “You’re welcome.”

Then Jane says, “I’d really like some chocolate sauce.” He says “sure, dear. Ice cream with chocolate sauce.” and she says, “You’d better write it down so you don’t forget.”

And, he says, “Don’t be ridiculous. I can remember. Ice cream with chocolate sauce. I don’t need to write it down.”

“You’d better write it down.”

“I don’t need to write it down. I’ll remember.”

Then she says, “I’d also like some nuts. You’d better write it down or you’ll forget.”

“I won’t forget. Ice cream, chocolate sauce, nuts. No problem. I won’t forget.”

Then Jane says, “You know, I’d really like some whipped topping. Now you’d really write it down or you’ll never remember.”

“Ice cream, chocolate sauce, nuts, whipped topping. I’ve got it. I won’t forget.”

As he heads for the kitchen she mumbles under her breath, “I’ll bet he forgets. He should have written it down.”

He’s gone for quite a while and just when she’s thinking of going to the kitchen to see what’s taking so long, he comes back…..with a plate of bacon and eggs. She gives him the ‘look’. John, if you haven’t seen it already, you’ll learn about the ‘look’. It’s something that only a wife can give her husband. She gives him the look and says, “See, I told you you should write it down. I knew you’d mess it up.”

John says, “What do you mean I messed it up. I brought you bacon and eggs just like you asked for.” And, she says, “You forgot the toast!”

Jane and John, I know everyone here joins me today in the prayer that you’re happily married long enough that you need to write things down when you go to the kitchen.

The readings that you chose today couldn't be more appropriate, but you could almost sum up all three readings with the first sentence of the first reading, from the first book of the Old Testament.

“The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” No, it's NOT good for the man to be alone. We men are fairly helpless creatures when you get right down to it. Oh, we like for people to think we're big and stong, macho and all, but we really don't do all that well by ourselves. We need someone to be there for us when we're discouraged, or angry, or unhappy.

The writer says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” Notice the choice of the word “clings”. Cling is a strong word. It's kind of like “hold on for dear life.” You cling to a branch when you go over the edge of a cliff. Try to pull a clinging vine off the side of a building. It won't let go.

We're coming into winter time when our clothes will cling to our bodies. They're full of static electricity and you just can't get them loose. Cling is definitely a strong word, and it's exactly the right word when your talking about what we men must do with our wives. They're our life line. We'd better be holding on.

[pause]

For 2,000 years, poets and song writers have been trying to come up with a better description of love than the one St. Paul wrote in his 1^st Letter to the Corinthians. No one has. If I don't have love, even if I speak in human and angelic tongues, I'm just a resounding gong or a clashing symbol. What an anology! Even if I speak like an angel, without love, it's just noise, just racket.

Even if I have the faith to move mountains, if I don't have love, I'm nothing. Then he gives the perfect recipe for a successful marriage. If you each live according to these eleven points, I promise you that you'll have a long and successful marriage.

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It is not jealous.

It is not pompous.

It is not inflated.

It is not rude.

It does not seek its own interests.

It is not quick-tempered.

It does not brood over injury.

It does not rejoice over wrongdoing.

It rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things.

It believes all things.

It hopes all things.

It endures all things.

Love never fails.

Now, notice that I said you'll have a successful marriage. I didn't say you'll have an easy marriage. Those eleven things aren't easy to do. In fact, I'd say they're impossible to do on a daily basis without help. And, that's why we're here today. You're here to invite that help into your marriage. If you make Jesus an active third member of your family, you'll see it's much easier to take Paul's advice.

That's why Catholic weddings are held in God's house. We don't get married on the beach, or in a park, or on a pirate ship in Las Vegas. We don't get married by ship's captains, or justices of the peace, or guys that look like Elvis Presley. We get married at the foot of Christ's altar, by His minister, in the presence of our families and friends. We ask God to bless the union and to bless each of us.

After thirty six years, eleven months, and seven days of marriage, I'm here to tell you that it can be very difficult sometimes. There's an old joke, “my wife and I have been happily married for twenty five years. Twenty five out of thirty six isn't bad.”

But, if you pray together, if you go to church together, if you make Christ part of your marriage, your odds of a long, happy marriage will increase exponentially.

I wish that every couple I marry could go with me for one evening to visit patients at the hospital. You'd meet people who've been together for a long time. One spouse is sick in bed and the other one is sitting there, holding his or her hand, getting ice water, doing whatever they can to help. That's love. That's why I always start out with the story of the elderly couple.

God willing, in the next fourty or fifty or more years, your youthful, passionate love will gradually morph into the kind of love that's willing to spend hours just sitting in a hospital room, so you can be together. What you have now is wonderful. What you'll have then will be amazing.

With enough heat, enough pressure, and enough time, a lump of coal will turn into a diamond. Love is much like that. There will be heat. There will be pressure. Give it enough time and your love will be worth more than any diamond. The funny thing is that you won't even notice the change.

The one constant through it all will be your faith in God.

None of us know what the future holds. God may bless you with lots of kids, or you may have none. You may have good health or you may not. Jane, you know what it's like to lose someone you love. John, you're in a profession where you deal with the best and the worst that society has to offer. But, as Paul says, “love bears all things.”

So, as you leave here today as man and wife, please know that every one of us is praying that you'll have a long happy life together. Not only that, but every day in churches around the world, people are praying for married couples, just as we will today in our intercessions. In just a few minutes, all of those people will be praying for you. And, with Christ present in your marriage, those prayers will be heard, and you will be constantly blessed.