Nana

Anna Marie was born on June 4, 1908. God called her home on June 4, 2005, her 97th birthday. Everyone called Anna Marie "Nana". Nana has ten children, twenty one grandchildren and twenty three great grand children. When I walked into Holy Redeemer Church in Maplewood, MN where the wake and funeral were being held, the first thing I noticed was that nearly everyone there was wearing a big button. Some of them said "Mom liked me best". Most of them said "Nana liked me best" or "I was Nana's Favorite."

I thought it was a little odd, but as I found out, this was a woman who treated everyone like they were her favorite. She made everyone she came in contact with feel special. Even the priest was wearing a button. As I thought about it, I realized that even though I had only met Nana a few times, I thought she liked ME best.

Which brings me to today's Gospel. I've always had a hard time with it. Jesus tells the Apostles that "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Is He really telling us what I think He is?

I love my family more than anything in this world. I would lay down my life for Jan, Mike,Tim, Patrick or Megan. That's about as much as I can do. What else is there? How can I love Jesus more than that? Didn't He say “greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend"? What about "Honor thy father and thy mother"? Isn't Jesus all about love?

Then I realized that you have to be very careful when you read the Scriptures so you don't misinterpret what they say. Jesus didn't say I have to love Him more than I love my family. He says that I can't love my family more than I love Him. Big difference! Which is what made me think of Nana.

Here was a woman who had unconditional love for each of her children (and their spouses. The son and daughter-in-laws were wearing the "Mom liked me best" buttons too.) She also had an unconditional love for God and His church.

I have to tell you this woman was a sports fanatic! Nothing kept her from watching her beloved Twins and Golden Gophers. Nana was such a sports fan that we sang “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” at the end of mass. (It's a good thing Sister isn't here today to hear that!)

She was such a sports fan that one of the petitions at mass was for the Twins to win the World Series. I did not respond “Lord, hear our prayer.” You have to draw the line somewhere. Besides, there's no point in praying for something that can't happen. Everybody knows that the Cardinals are going to win the World Series.

Actually, there was one thing that would take her away from sports. That was 4:00 Saturday mass at Holy Redeemer Church. She never missed and she always sat in the front row. As much as she loved her teams, one of her grandsons told me that she would get up and leave during the bottom of the ninth inning or late in the fourth quarter if it was time to go to mass.

It was her love of God and His Church that was reflected in the way she treated people. If anyone ever followed Jesus' instructions to "love your neighbor as yourself" it was her.

“Whoever receives you receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
Whoever receives a prophet becaues he is a prophet,
will receive a prophet's reward,
and whoever receives a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous man's reward.”

We know these things are true, because Jesus said so. But, how do we learn to trust Jesus? How do we learn to love Jesus? I think the first and most important way we learn these things is from our parents. It's our parents' love that teaches us about God's love.

Jesus tells us that anyone who “loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” But, by loving our children and one another just as we love Jesus, we teach them what love is really all about. By setting that example, our love is magnified in our kids and can reach places that we've never even thought about. That's really the love of God. Nana lived in St. Paul, Minnesota. Yet, here we are, using her as an example of what the Gospel is all about, in St. Louis,MO, nearly 700 miles away.

As my friend Chris said to me, “She was my mom, but she was also my best friend.” I spoke to Chris just this past Wednesday. He still can't understand why I came all the way to Minnesota for his mom's funeral. See, Chris started out as a customer. In fact, at one time he was my biggest customer. But, I'm not in sales anymore.

Over the years, even though he was still my customer, he also became my friend. Now that he's not my customer anymore, he's still my friend. He's done things for me that no ordinary business contact would do. He's his mother's son. I would have walked to Minnesota to be there for him. But like his mother, he does things for people just because it's the right thing to do. By the way, his daughters are just like him. Every time I see his daughter, Allie, she asks about my daughter, Megan.

As we continue on with our mass, I hope you'll remember Nana. You don't meet a lot of people like her in a lifetime. It's a great gift to make so many people think that you liked them best. What a great legacy. Pray that each of us may be remembered that same way.

A Rant

Alright, when is it going to stop? In today's Post Disgrace, we have a guy suing a dead priest for alleged sexual abuse. The $uit claims "the church covered up sexual abuse by the priest in the early 1970s."

"The suit says the archdiocese turned a "blind eye" to reports of previous clergy sexual abuse and abuse by Cooper." OK, nothing new here, but the article also says, "It is the first time that Cooper has been sued or accused of abuse, according to SNAP."

So the Archdiocese turned a "blind eye" to something that never happened. Hmmm.

The sexual abuse crisis is a cancer in our Church. Legitimate victims deserve to be heard and to be healed as much as that's possible. But the crisis also makes it possible for opportunists to cash in on other people's misfortune. Assuming that there's a fixed amount of money available to settle all the claims, then the ones most hurt by false accusations, besides the men who are falsely accused, are the real victims whose settlements are being diluted by payouts to false victims.

In today’s Gospel Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek. This is contrary to our natural desire to seek revenge, to get even. We don’t like it when someone puts one over on us, gets the best of us, gains an unfair advantage.

Last night our son Tim came over for dinner. Somehow, the conversation after dinner got around to high school experiences, particularly bullies and their victims. Kids can be very cruel creatures, almost like animals in the jungle. Some seem to be able to recognize weakness in others and to use that weakness to their advantage.

When I was in grade school and even into high school, I used to get beat up on a fairly regular basis. Schools have clamped down on fighting nowadays, so the abuse is more verbal and mental, rather than out and out physical violence. I’m not so sure that the old way wasn’t better. Today, I hear that even the Internet is being used as a tool to make some kids’ lives miserable, spreading malicious rumors about the unpopular kids. One well thought-out email, sent to the right people can ruin a kid’s entire high school experience, maybe even drive them to something as serious as suicide or the Columbine High School tragedy.

So what are we supposed to do about Jesus’ instruction to turn the other cheek? Whether we’re talking about the kid in high school who made our lives miserable, or a boss who builds himself up by tearing us down, or the idiot on the highway who thinks his time is so valuable that it’s ok to run us off the road, risking injury or even death just so long as he gets where he’s going two minutes sooner, are we really supposed to say “please sir, may I have another?”

I think he’s telling us that responding in kind, seeking revenge, is not the answer. As we decided last night, we don’t gain by lowering ourselves to the level of the bully. The campus big shot, who builds up his own self-esteem by picking on kids who are small, or overweight, or who have some other obvious weakness, thinks that he can get through life that way. Most of the time, he (or she) finds out too late that when you become an adult, the person you picked on in school is likely to turn out to be your boss.

At the ten year reunion, the now overweight high school jock just might be surprised that the “geek” that he picked on for all those years has become rich and successful and married to a beauty queen. Meanwhile, the former bully spends his days flipping hamburgers.

The bully of a boss soon finds out that his type of management doesn’t work for long. Sooner or later he (or she) will have to explain to someone over them why they have such high turnover and such poor results. Most likely, they’ll end up on the street, looking for another job and wondering what happened.

As far as the highway terrorist, sooner or later the day will probably come when they take one chance too many and end up in a ditch. Hopefully only their car and their pride are damaged.

Of course, even if their payback doesn’t come in this life, Jesus assures us that our reward will be great in heaven. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. It’s not up to us to exact revenge. So yes, turn the other cheek Remember that in John’s Gospel Jesus says “you are my friends if you do what I tell you.” With Him as our friend, can anyone else really hurt us?

Another Take on Today's Gospel--Self Esteem

Today's Gospel is a very familiar one. The scribe asks Jesus which commandment is most important. Jesus tells him that there are two: Love the Lord God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Love God. Love your neighbor. Sounds simple, right. But it's never as easy as it sounds. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easy to follow the 600+ laws of the original Mosaic Code than it is to follow these two simple rules.

We are weak, sinful creatures. As much as we want to love God, we often fail. Fortunately, since God created us, He's well aware of our faults and He loves us anyway. He even gave us the sacrament of reconcilliation so we can get back in His good graces. God loves us so much, He was even willing to send His Son to die on the cross so that we could be forgiven.

The second commandment may be even harder for most of us. Love your neighbor as yourself. See, there are really three commands here:

Love God.
Love your neighbor.
Love yourself.

That last one is where it really gets difficult sometimes. If we're going to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, then we have to love ourselves first. Now some people don't seem to have any problem loving themselves. But for most of us, we're our own worst critic. As my wife always says, when we look in the mirror, it's easy to see the pimples and the blemishes. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to our best friend.

If our friend has had a bad day, it's in our nature to tell them that it's not their fault, that things will be better tomorrow, all the comforting things that they need to hear. But when we have a bad day, what's our response? "I'm an idiot. The world's out to get me. I'm a failure." We're not our own best friend.

But God loves us in spite of our faults. He sees us for the person that we really are, faults and all. Should we do any less? Are we better judges of character than the One who made each and every one of us? Did God really send His Son to die on the cross for an idiot? For a failure? I don't think so.

So, as we go through the day today, keep this in mind. The three types of love mentioned in today's Gospel are really one and the same. We're called to love God. How do we manifest that love? By loving one another as we love ourselves.

That means we have to love ourselves, just as God loves us. One has to follow the other.

Sts. Marcellinus and Peter

We don’t know very much about Marcellinus and Peter. We know that they were both executed in the year 304. We also know that they were so zealous in their faith that they converted their jailer and his family. It’s also said that their executioner converted to Christianity after their death.

Constantine erected a basilica over their tombs. They are mentioned in the first Eucharistic Prayer. That’s the long one that we hardly ever use.

Like all the martyrs, Marcellinus and Peter took the words of today’s Gospel very seriously: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. Giving up your life for God is definitely a sign that you love him totally.

But what about today’s Gospel? Scribes were the keepers of the laws in Jesus’ time. The scribe asks Jesus which commandment is first. In Jewish tradition there were 365 laws telling them what they couldn’t do and another 248 telling them what they must do. That’s 613 commandments and the scribe and Jesus both knew them all. But, Jesus boiled all 613 of them down into just two. Love God. Love your neighbor. Pretty simple.

But, sometimes doesn’t it seem like it might be easier to deal with the 613 rules than to get these two right? We say we love God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and with all our strength. But, do we really? Oh, we try. We really try. But when we compare ourselves to people like Marcellnus and Peter we don’t measure up all that well.

Hopefully we’ll never have an opportunity to be martyrs. But you never know. There were more Christian martyrs in the 20th century than in the first 19 centuries combined. Most of today’s martyrs are in third world countries in Africa, Asia and Latin America. The most famous martyr of the 20th century was Maximillion Kolbe who died in a Nazi prison camp during World War II, when he volunteered to take the place of a young man with a family who was about to be executed.

We’re more likely to find ourselves in a situation where we have to chose between our faith and being embarrassed. For example, when we eat in a restaurant, do we make the sign of the Cross and say grace before the meal? I’ll admit that I don’t always do it. What if someone in the restaurant notices? What if they talk about us? What if they laugh at us? How embarrassing would that be?

What if it’s a Friday in Lent and our friends want to go out for a steak? What do we do? Stay home? Go with them and hope they don’t notice that we’re the only one eating fish? Or do we come up with some kind of compromise with ourselves? You know how that works. You tell yourself, “I’ll go ahead and eat meat today, but I won’t have any tomorrow.”

God knows that we’re human. He knows we’re going to fail sometimes, maybe even most of the time. But He loves us with a love that’s so deep and profound that we can’t even begin to understand it. He even sent His only Son to die for us.