Friday, August 27, 2004

St. Monica

So, you think you have to wait a long time before your prayers are answered? St. Monica prayed for seventeen years for the soul of her son, Augustine. She followed him from country to country. She asked priests to pray for him. She was so persistent that priests began to avoid her.

In the 4th century, there were no daily masses, so Monica attended funerals of people she didn’t know, just so she could pray for Augustine. As Paul Harvey would say, we know the “rest of the story.”

Augustine was baptized in the year 387 by St. Ambrose. Monica died later that same year.

A lot of parents and grandparents today are faced with the same that Monica faced over 1,600 years ago. A lot of our young people today don’t feel they need the church. My own kids attend mass only occasionally. What are we to do? Like Monica we continue to pray that they will return to the faith. God gave all of us free will and it’s normal for all of us, especially young people, to want to use it.

It’s up to us to pray for them and to set a good example.

What I think is sad is that so many older people that I visit at the hospital don’t go to church. Some of them have been regular church-goers all their lives but can’t go now because of their health. That’s understandable. In that case, it’s a good thing for the rest of us to consider helping them attend once in a while, or taking them communion. The ones I feel for are the ones who just don’t go. Whatever their particular faith is, somewhere along the line, they just quit coming to church. Those are the folks we should be praying for.

The story of Monica and Augustine shows that nothing is impossible with God. Sometimes, He doesn’t answer our prayers in what we see as a reasonable time. Sometimes He doesn’t give us the answer we think is best. But, sooner or later, He always answers.

So, when we think we’ve been praying for something for a long time, we should remember Monica. Without her prayers, we would have lost one of the most brilliant minds in the history of the Catholic Church. A lot of Augustine’s writings are still in use today. Imagine how many millions of people have benefited from Monica’s persistent prayer.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

August 22, 2004

Before mass I was getting ready in the sacristy. I heard some ladies talking in the vestibule. I won’t tell you who they were because I don’t want to embarrass them. Naturally, I was interested in what they were saying because they were talking about me.

They were talking about what color my eyes are. They asked one lady what she thought and she said, “I really don’t know what color they are. When he prays, he closes his eyes, and when he preaches, he closes mine.”

Aren’t little babies smart? Think how hard it must be to learn to speak English. They say it’s one of the most difficult languages in the world. But, little babies start speaking English in just a matter of months. They start with little words, but still, they’re talking. Their first thing they say are “mama” or “dada”, not necessarily in that order. It’s pretty exciting the first time you hear your child call you by name, even if they’re just babbling. You know they’re talking to you.

Then they learn their third word, one that they will use throughout their entire lives. Does anybody know what that word is? NO! That’s right. It’s always the next one they learn. Where do they learn that one? They learn it from us.

From the time they start moving around, somebody is always telling them “no”. No, don’t touch that. No, you can’t have that. No, no, no. Of course, when the word isn’t enough, it’s often accompanied by some sort of physical pain.

You know how it goes. Little Jimmy is reaching for the knobs on the stove, where dinner is cooking. You say, “no, no, Jimmy. Don’t touch. Mommy doesn’t want you to get hurt.”

Naturally, Jimmy pays no attention at all. Then the “no” gets a little stronger. “No, Jimmy. Mommy said don’t touch.” Jimmy has suddenly lost the ability to hear his mother’s voice. Finally, in desperation as mom pictures Jimmy covered with hot spaghetti, she says “Jimmy, I said NO!” Smack. A slap on the hand comes with the “No” and little Jim finally gets the point.

Is mom being mean? Of course not. She inflicts a small amount of pain to help Jimmy avoid a lot of pain. She’s being a good parent.

Which brings us to today’s second reading. The writer is telling the Hebrews that God disciplines those He loves. Like any good parent, God wants the best for us and sometimes has to use discipline to make his point. “For whom the Lord loves, he disciplines…..Endure your trials as discipline.”

“For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.”

With four kids, I know a little about this discipline stuff. When they’re little, you try to keep them away from hot things and sharp things and dangerous things in general. “Don’t run with scissors.” “Don’t play with matches.” “Don’t talk to strangers.” You know you can’t watch them every minute of every day, so you try to teach them to take care of themselves.

As they get older, you worry less about the obvious, painful things. The dangers are more subtle, but also more dangerous. “Leave it to Beaver” and “Father Knows Best” have been replaced by “Friends” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” Instead of playing with dolls, they’re surfing the internet. The bad guys aren’t hanging out on the street corner, they’re inside your house, using your computer to try and harm your kids. Hollywood tells our little girls that they have to have perfect bodies which leads them to eating disorders, serious illness, and even death.

Boys have to be big and strong. And, guess what? All you have to do is take this pill and you can hit home runs, just like your baseball heroes. We choose our Olympic athletes only partly on their athletic ability. They also have to pass the drug test. The people making the big money on sports, besides the athletes themselves, are the ones who can invent performance-enhancing drugs that don’t show up on the tests.

So, you try to be a good parent and discipline your children, hoping that (1) you can protect them and (2) they don’t end up hating you.

How arrogant is it for us to think that we’re better parents than God? Apparently a lot of us do, because we seem to have gotten the idea that God doesn’t believe in discipline anymore. We teach our children right from wrong and sometimes have to punish them to make sure they understand the difference, but we don’t think the all-powerful God will might do the same thing?

We think that we can do whatever we want with no consequences. But there are consequences. We all know the expression “cafeteria Catholics.” It’s not a compliment. There have been a lot of letters written to the local newspaper lately that start out “I’m a faithful Catholic” or “I’m a good Catholic” or “I’m a loyal Catholic”. The next word is always “but”. Then, they go on to explain what part of our Church’s teachings they don’t agree with.

Just like our parents taught us “don’t run with scissors” because running with scissors could do us serious damage, so the Church teaches us things that will save us from eternal damage. This is the Book of Canon Law. You’ve heard a lot about it lately on the news. It’s a BIG book. Do I understand the reason for every law? Of course not. Very few people do. Do I believe it. Yes I do, because it’s the official manual of the Church which God established here on earth. I know that if I don’t believe it, there will be consequences.

This is the Catechism. Every Catholic should own one. It explains what we need to do to be faithful Catholics. Do I understand the reasoning behind everything in this book? No, again. But it’s the official teaching of my church and I believe everything that’s in it. If I don’t, there will be consequences.

Here’s another book. It’s called the Bible. It’s the inspired word of God. I’d better believe everything in here, whether I understand it or not. Because, if I don’t, there will be consequences.

And here’s the Deacon’s handbook. Again, there are some things here I don’t understand. But, I knelt on the altar of the Cathedral, in front of the Archbishop and promised God that I would do what it says. And, even though I fail occasionally, I will never stop trying to do what it says. If I don’t, there will be consequences. “From those to whom much is given, much will be expected.”

Just like little Jimmy doesn’t know why his mother is so determined not to let him play with the stove, he knows from painful experience that it’s not a good idea. As he gets older, the smacks will become less frequent as he learns that mom and dad are the authority, that they know what they’re talking about and have his best interests at heart.

In the same way, as we grow older, and are educated in our faith, we learn the same thing about Christ and His church. We may not understand it, but we take it on faith because we know God loves us and left us His Church. Christ told Peter, “What you declare bound on earth will be bound in heaven. What you declare loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

I promise you that when we meet Jesus face-to-face, He isn’t going to be any more interested in our opinion of his Father’s teachings than Jimmy’s mother would be in hearing his thoughts on why it violates his rights for her not to let him pull the steaming pot off the stove.

We try to teach our kids the things they need to know to survive and prosper in this life. God tries to teach us the things that will prepare us for the next life. Both are trying to prevent a fatal mistake.

Earlier this week, Jan and I took our little girl, our baby, off to college. As you can imagine it’s been a tough week. The nest is empty. Thirty one years of having at least one kid living at home is over. As you get ready for this next stage of life, you wonder, “Did I discipline enough?” “Did I discipline too much?” Her three older brothers have done ok. The want off to school and survived. But it’s different with a girl and it’s different with the last one.

You know she’s in God’s hands. You know she’ll be alright. But, you still worry. It’s natural. When she leaves home, your ability to discipline pretty much goes out the window. So you hope and you pray that you’ve given her the values that she’ll need to deal with what lies ahead.

As the writer says, “At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy, but for pain, yet later, it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it.” And, there IS peace in knowing what’s right and what’s wrong. We may struggle with making the right choices, but if we if we do, it’s not because we don’t know better. It’s because our free will, our ability to make choices, leads us to do something that we know we shouldn’t.

And you know the best part? Jesus taught us to call God “Our Father” for a reason. What parent’s heart doesn’t melt when their child crawls up on their lap and says, “Daddy, I’m sorry.” Or “mommy, I didn’t mean to spill milk on the carpet”? Of course we forgive them. They’re our children and we love them. Don’t you think that God, who is all loving, doesn’t feel the same way when we go into the confessional and say “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned”? Of course He does.

Discipline teaches us what’s right and what’s wrong. It teaches us the skills we need to navigate in the world. It teaches us the right way to kick a soccer ball. It teaches us how to behave in polite society, and it teaches us what we need to know to get to heaven.

Isn’t it nice to know that we have a Heavenly Father who disciplines us out of love and forgives us when we make a mistake? All we have to do is ask.