June 22, 2004

June 28, 2004

Does today’s Gospel sound familiar? It should. Today Matthew tells us the same story that we heard yesterday from Luke’s Gospel.

If you were here this weekend, you heard Mike Coppage give an excellent homily on this event. I guess that means that we’re going to hear the same thing today as we heard yesterday. No, you’re not. It’s very interesting that Mike and I each got something completely different from exactly the same story.

God works in strange and mysterious ways. Mike was involved in two funerals last week and they inspired him to talk about the end of the Gospel where Jesus says “let the dead bury their dead.” His conclusion was that we shouldn’t put off doing the things that we know we should do. If we do, it may be too late. The disciple who wanted to return home to bury his father was just procrastinating. He wanted to follow Jesus, but not just yet.

My week wasn’t quite as profound as Mike’s. No weddings. No funerals. Just the usual stuff. Oh, we did go to the Cardinal game Thursday but nothing happened there to inspire any words of wisdom on my part.

My inspiration came in a much more mundane way. Saturday morning, Jan had to get up early to go to a meeting. She came in to tell me goodbye and to tell me that she had set the alarm clock so that I wouldn’t sleep all day. I laid there for a few minutes and realized that if I didn’t get up and use the bathroom, I would never go back to sleep. So I did. I thought Jan had left. You can imagine my surprise when I came out of the bathroom to see that the bed had been made.

I complained, but it was pointless. The bed was made. She told me if I wanted to go back to sleep, I could sleep on the couch or lay on top of the bedspread. Anyway, she left and I did lay back down on top of the bedspread but it just wasn’t the same. But as I lay there, today’s Gospel came into my mind. “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest His head.”

As I thought about it, it occurred to me that of course, He had no place to lay his head. As far as we know, Jesus lived with his mother until he was thirty years old. In fact, there’s an old joke that Jesus must have been Irish because he lived with his mother, didn’t have a job and spent all of his time hanging around with the guys.

But, Jesus never had a place of his own. How could he? He was in the world, but He wasn’t of the world. Jesus the homeowner just doesn’t work.

What He’s telling the disciples, and us, today is that if we want to follow Him, we must be like Him. Not that He expects us not to have a place to live. He just wants us to realize that We must follow His example to the best of our ability. We can own a home, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing in our life. It’s a place to lay our heads. That’s all. It’s a place to raise our families. But it should never come ahead of following Christ.

He understands that we must function in the world, just as He did. He had no worldly responsibilities, but we do. Most of us have to work. We have bills to pay. But He does want us to put Him first. He expects us to support His church, financially and by our presence. He doesn’t want us to have false gods. Many people worship money, or power or fame. We can see that in the current controversy about Catholic politicians and the right to life. Not to take sides, but when getting elected is more important than adhering to your faith, somebody is worshiping at the wrong altar.

But, that’s a topic for another day. For today, I’d like to close with a great quote I read in a magazine: “Christ doesn’t want our kids’ college tuition money. He just wants our golf money.” Think about it.

Fathers' Day, 2004

“If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

Today is Fathers’ Day. The cycle readings has nothing to do with the secular calendar and it certainly has nothing to do with a Hallmark holiday like Fathers’ Day. So isn’t it interesting that today’s Gospel comes up on this particular day? When you get right down to it, doesn’t it really describe what being a dad is all about? And, sometimes it’s pretty easy. If we forget to deny ourselves, there’s usually someone around to do it for us.

A few years ago, when our school was still open, I came to weekday mass one morning because our daughter Megan was the lector that day. After mass, she came up to me in back of church to thank me for coming. Her teacher that day was a substitute so she didn’t know who I was.

You may have noticed that my hair is prematurely grey. I’m really much younger than I look. Anyway, the substitute said to Megan, “Isn’t it nice of your grandpa to come to hear you read?”

Some of you may not be able to see this, but it’s an enlarged copy of the front of a Fathers’ Day card. The guy is slouching on the sofa, a beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other one. On the couch next to him are a bowl of popcorn and the tv remote control. His undershirt doesn’t quite cover his stomach. On the inside of the card there was a joke about dear, old dad.

Now I don’t want to seem overly sensitive here, but can you imagine a Mothers’ Day card like this? I don’t think so.

“If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”


From the time we’re born until we die, life is a series of days where we deny ourselves, take up our crosses and do the best that we can to follow Jesus in hopes of achieving eternal life.

Isn’t fatherhood (and motherhood too) a series of days where we deny ourselves and take up our crosses and try to be the kind of parent Christ wants us to be? And, isn’t it worth it? Megan graduated from high school last month. I realized that, with four kids, we’ve paid for a total of 48 years of Catholic education. We spent hundreds, maybe thousands of hours at various practices, games, recitals, and home and school meetings.

Would I do it all over again? Of course I would. In fact, one thing I regret is that I didn’t spend more time with my kids. Didn’t Jesussay “take up your cross DAILY?

We deny ourselves in a lot of ways. The cost of those 48 years of Catholic school would have bought several new cars or a boat or a place at the lake. The time spent at all those practices and games could have been spent in a lot of other ways. But none of that stuff lasts. What does last are the qualities we instill In our kids and the memories of good times for us AND hopefully for them.

Please don’t misunderstand. Even though the idea of carrying the cross may seem like a bad thing, isn’t the cross the instrument of our salvation? He doesn’t ask us to DIE on the cross. He already did that. He asks us to take up OUR cross. That’s how we gain a share in His eternal life. And, as fathers (and mothers, too) don’t we have a kind of immortality through our kids? Good or bad, we live on in them after we’re gone. Kids are a gift from God.

So, we go through this parenting thing hoping to raise the best kids we possibly can. When they’re finally grown, hopefully we can look at them with pride and say “That’s my daughter” or “That’s my son.” And they are. It doesn’t matter if they’re two or fifty-two, they’re still our sons and they’re still our daughters, even though deep down we knows that they really belong to God. He just lets us raise them for a while. And when it’s all said and done, it’s really a very short while. It’s over before we know it.

So, as you reflect on Christ’s words to us today, remember that we’re called to deny ourselves and take up our crosses every day in many different ways…… and always to follow Him.

Happy Fathers’ Day.